what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
