I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
