He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
