someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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