You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
