Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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