Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love black thongs
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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