May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My dick has a subreddit
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
