I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
