Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize