You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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