Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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