everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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