I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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