Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
