I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
and she was petting her beer can
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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