We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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