Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
