dude i'm inner monologue high
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
