I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
