I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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