They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
