And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
