Your tits are I can't wait for
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
