I wish i was in the wii world.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
