I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Is this like a preordered booty call?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize