Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
