no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You made out with two different species that night
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
