I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
