If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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