this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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