So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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