Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
