I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize