I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize