You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
