My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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