No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
