I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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