I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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