That's when you crack a 10am beer
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
