god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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