I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
