So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
