wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
