Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
