Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
