My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my being single is dangerous.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
