I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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