I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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