Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
