I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize