after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
