So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Even my vagina gasped.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
