Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think i have herpe
just one?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
