im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
