his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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