Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
