Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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