Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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