i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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