For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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